Motherhood

Motherhood is something that I have looked forward to my whole life. I don't think I ever quite understood the profound responsibility of this calling (and I still don't). I just knew I didn't want to be anything else quite as badly as I wanted to be a Mother. My heart grew a few more sizes as I saw the Doctor (or Intern Rather... the Doctor missed the whole ordeal) hold her up; a fresh newborn. I panicked for a millisecond as I waited impatiently to hear her first cry. I am a Mother. What does that even mean? It means that I feed, clean, rock, burp, change, comfort, sing, bounce, and love. But beyond that, it means that I have been given the gift of raising one of Heavenly Father's children. As I was watching my little girl take a nap this evening, I couldn't help but ponder on the magnitude of motherhood. I gazed into her sleeping face, memorizing her face shape, eyelashes, and face twitches, I thought of the life she has ahead of her. I hope that she grows up big and strong, learns the great lessons of life and accomplishes all the goals she desires. How will I teach her what she needs to know? How will I love her enough? How can I possibly do everything that I need to to help her grow? I guess I will learn along the way. I never want to forget her at this stage. The way she sleeps with her hands up by her face, clasped in fists. The way she crosses her eyes and grunts right before she blows out her diaper. The big smiles she gives when she is happy and fed. The constant bouncing while holding her in the cross hold position to get rid of tummy bubbles. The way she kicks her little legs in a frantic.  Im so grateful for my little girl. So grateful to be Mom.
-Diana