Despite the fact that my life is highly anticlimactic and ordinary, I can't help but think that someone is narrating it. Putting thoughts in my head, describing my actions. Creating circumstances that are too surreal, too perfect, or too dull to be real life. I have found myself talking to no-one, or myself rather. I had an argument last night. I was trying to determine if deep down I am a liar, making feelings up, causing my own conflict. Have I have been lying to myself all this time? Is my story is the one that I want? But no. I am being honest. The best that I can anyways.
Someone is writing my life story, and its me really. Its me taking that pen and writing out words in messy cursive in my blue covered journal. Its me making choices and engaging in self talks. But there is no way I can write these words on my own. No way I could come up with a capturing plot, figure out the happily ever after, or the not so happy one.
No novel is a novel without a climax. No story is a story with out conflict.
Most of my conflict is Intrapersonal. I fight with my self. With my conceptions of who I think I am, and what I think I should be doing.
God is my editor. With out him, my novel would never make the shelves. Without him there is no way I could correct the mistakes that I have become so accustomed to that I pass them over without thought. He helps me over come writers block, giving me new direction for the next chapter. He gives me ideas on how to develop the characters and resolve the numerous conflicts I seem to pencil in. He helps me recognize the importance of other individuals, characters that shape the story in a way to make it flow better, easier.
God has given me a textbook, no, a guidance rather. A marvelous recourse that can aid me in all aspects of writing, if I use it. When I forget to use it everything is lacking, in the aspect of sentences lacking structure, punctuation becoming disorganized, and crucial questions being left unanswered.
So I have come to a conclusion. One so vital that nothing else matters nearly as much. I must cling to my editor. God. Take note of his every word, suggestion, prompting. He has given me guidelines and with them, choices. The choice is mine. I pledge to always strive to make my choice his choice. Its the only way I might have a chance. A chance to publish this novel. The wonderful novel called "Life".
3 comments:
I admire your creative outlook, and so true, so so true! :)
Wish there were a like button for a post like this haha.
You are the best I am so glad you are my sister. I often
go back a few years on your blog and look at all the great advice you have. I always talk about you, and how I want to be just like you. You are my role model. thank you for living the life you have to the fullest. I always cherish you in my life. I am glad you have been living a pure,happy and modest life. I love you to the moon and back.
your sister, Kezia
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