General Conference

This weekend we were able to watch all 4 sessions of General Conference in our home. I prepared a few activity colouring pages, as well as a magnet board for E to play with. She also got a little treat every-time she heard the words; Jesus, or God. Every once and a while she would shout JESUS! and run for the treat bowl (in the most reverent manner a 2 year old can do so). T slept through a few of the sessions, which was nice. 

The talk that impacted me the most was Jeffrey R Holland's talk, which he said in summary"Behold thy Mother". I got all excited and exclaimed- this one is for me! As soon as he started speaking the house went into chaos. E was in the bathroom making a foul mess, and T was wandering in and out of the room screaming; for who knows what reason. I begged Jordan to help E, and I tried to keep T quiet so I could hear his words. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It felt so ironic that as this apostle was speaking about the role and sacrifices of mothers, while I was being stretched and tested. 

The words I did hear left me comforted and with the peace that my efforts are good. That I may not be perfect, but that my role as a mother is divine and eternally important. 

He said, "This is a sacred trust of the highest order, the weight of that realization especially on young maternal shoulders can be very daunting... how can mortal love be so strong that you voluntarily subject yourself to responsibility, vulnerability, anxiety, and heartache, and just keep coming back for more of the same? ... maternal love has to be divine."

I often feel overwhelmed with the daily hum drum of mother hood. My tasks seem unending and repetitive, seeming to make no difference. The kitchen is constantly dirty. The laundry pile is always growing. Mouths always need to be fed. Sometimes I find myself repeating the words, "please stop crying, I can't take anymore crying!" The idea of having more children is frighting as I can't fathom spreading myself out any further. 

He closed with most comforting words "To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle (and you all will), I say to you; be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are... Your love never faileth." 

With those words a peace filled my heart. Be Peaceful. You are doing better than you think you are. 

Motherhood is hard, but I keep coming back because motherhood is divine. It is through motherhood that I find the joy that will spread to the eternities. If it were easy I wouldn't grow from the challenges or become the Woman I have the potential to become. 

I still wish there wasn't as much crying or messes, but with Elder Holland's words; it all seems more worth it. 

-Diana